Disclaimer

By accessing this Web Site, you agree to the following terms and conditions. If you do not agree, you have no right or license to access and/or use this Web Site and should not do so.

ISCLAIMER OF LIABILITY: With respect to documents available from this server, the author, webmaster or organization does NOT make any warranty, express or implied, including the warranties of merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose, or assumes any legal liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information, apparatus, product, or process disclosed, or represents that its use would not infringe privately owned rights.

WARNING: Information provided on or thru this Home Page is intended solely to provide general guidance on matters of interest for the personal use of the Reader of this Page, who accepts full responsibility for its use. It is provided "as is," with no guarantee of completeness, accuracy, or timeliness, and without warranty of any kind, express or implied, including, but not limited to, the warranties of performance, merchantability, and fitness for a particular purpose. Nothing herein shall to any extent substitute for the independent investigations and the sound technical and business judgment of the Reader of this Page. Laws and regulations are continually changing, and can be interpreted only in light of particular factual situations, or the last rumor your daughter heard. The information on or linked to this Page does not constitute legal, accounting, tax, counseling or consulting advice, and should be used only in conjunction with appropriate professional advice obtained by the Reader from a suitably qualified professional who understands the Reader's particular factual situation. By logging on to this homepage, the Reader holds harmless and indemnifies W.J. Bethancourt III, his Agents, allies, friends, neighbors, family, second cousins and step-neighbors-in-law from responsibility for anything at all including brain damage and / or attitude changes caused by reading this homepage.

DISCLAIMER OF ENDORSEMENT: Reference herein to any specific commercial products, process, organization or service by trade name, trademark, manufacturer, or otherwise, does not necessarily constitute or imply its endorsement, recommendation, or favoring by the author, webmaster or organization. The views and opinions of expressed herein do not necessarily state or reflect those of the author, webmaster, organization or his employers, and shall not be used for advertising or product endorsement purposes.

It is the responsibility of the buyer, NOT THE SELLER, to ascertain, and obey, all applicable local, state, federal and international laws in regard to the possession and use of any item on this site. All equipment is sold subject to public law 90-351, title III, U.S.D., Section 2511, and any local, state or federal ordinances. Consult your local and state laws before ordering, if you are in doubt. Absolutely no sales to minors! By placing an order, the buyer represents that the products ordered will be used in a lawful manner, and that he/she is of legal age. W.J. BETHANCOURT III / Webmaster will not be held liable for the misuse of any product. Also, as no product is 100% effective against attack, W.J. BETHANCOURT III / Webmaster assumes no responsibility if a product used in or linked with this site is not effective in preventing bodily injury, dismemberment or death.

Unless otherwise indicated, this Web Site and its contents are © copyright 2000 W.J. Bethancourt III, are the property of W.J. Bethancourt III and/or W.J. BETHANCOURT III (hereinafter called "W.J. BETHANCOURT III") and are protected, without limitation, pursuant to U.S. and foreign copyright and trademark laws.

The Following Terms and Conditions Apply To This Web Site:

1. This Web Site and the material on this Web Site, including but not limited to the text of any manuscripts provided on the Web Site (the "Manuscript"), may not be modified, copied, distributed, republished, downloaded, uploaded or commercially exploited in any manner without the prior written consent of W.J. BETHANCOURT III. No intellectual property or other rights in and to the Web Site, the material on this Web Site and the Manuscript are transferred to you.

2. W.J. BETHANCOURT III MAKES NO REPRESENTATIONS OR WARRANTIES WITH RESPECT TO THIS WEB SITE, ITS CONTENTS OR THE MANUSCRIPT, WHICH ARE PROVIDED FOR USE "AS IS" AND IS WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND. W.J. BETHANCOURT III DISCLAIMS ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING WITHOUT LIMITATION THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF TITLE, NON-INFRINGEMENT, MERCHANTABILITY AND FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, WITH RESPECT TO THE WEB SITE, ITS CONTENTS, THE MANUSCRIPT AND ANY WEB SITE WITH WHICH THIS WEB SITE IS LINKED. W.J. BETHANCOURT III ALSO MAKES NO REPRESENTATIONS OR WARRANTIES AS TO WHETHER THE INFORMATION ACCESSIBLE VIA THIS WEB SITE, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE MANUSCRIPT, OR ANY WEB SITE WITH WHICH THIS WEB SITE IS LINKED, IS ACCURATE, COMPLETE, OR CURRENT. Any Manuscript provided on the Web Site is a draft and has not been subject to a final review for accuracy, technical or otherwise. Further, the Manuscript may concern a Beta Release Product that is currently under development, has not yet been finalized or released and which is subject to change without notice. It is your responsibility to evaluate the accuracy and completeness of all information, opinions and other material in or on this Web Site, the Manuscript or any Web Site with which this Web Site is linked. We invite you to comment on any portions of any Manuscript provided on this Web Site.

3. To the fullest extent permitted by applicable laws, in no event shall W.J. BETHANCOURT III or any officers, directors, employees, agents, suppliers, and contractors associated with White Tree Productions be liable for any damages of any kind or character including without limitation any compensatory, incidental, direct, indirect, special, punitive, or consequential damages, loss of use, loss of data, loss caused by a virus, loss of income or profit, loss of or damage to property, claims of third parties, or other losses of any kind or character, even if W.J. BETHANCOURT III has been advised of the possibility of such damages or losses, arising out of or in connection with the use of this Web Site, its contents, the Manuscript or any Web Site with which this Web Site is linked. You assume total responsibility for establishing such procedures for data back up and virus checking as you consider necessary.

The following terms and conditions apply to all Postings on this Web Site:

4. Portions of this Web Site may provide users an opportunity to post and exchange information, ideas and opinions ("Postings"). BE ADVISED THAT W.J. BETHANCOURT III DOES NOT SCREEN, EDIT, OR REVIEW POSTINGS PRIOR TO THEIR APPEARANCE ON THIS WEB SITE, and Postings do not necessarily reflect the views of W.J. BETHANCOURT III. In no event shall W.J. BETHANCOURT III assume or have any responsibility or any liability for the Postings or for any claims, damages or losses resulting from their use and/or appearance on this Web Site.

5. W.J. BETHANCOURT III reserves the right to monitor all Postings and to remove any which he considers in his absolute discretion to be unlawful, offensive, terminally stupid or otherwise in breach of these terms and conditions.

6. You hereby represent and warrant that you have all necessary rights in and to all Postings you provide and all material they contain; that such Postings shall not infringe any proprietary or other rights of third parties; that such Postings shall not contain any viruses or other contaminating or destructive devices or features; that material contained in Postings shall not be defamatory, indecent, offensive, tortious, or otherwise unlawful; and that Postings shall not be used to carry out or solicit any unlawful activity and/or be used to make commercial solicitations.

7. You hereby authorize W.J. BETHANCOURT III to use and/or authorize others to use all or part of your Postings in any manner, format or medium that W.J. BETHANCOURT III or such other parties see fit. You shall have no claim or other recourse against W.J. BETHANCOURT III for infringement of any proprietary right in Postings.

IMPORTANT : This webpage is intended for the use of the individual reader & may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended reader, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this webpage is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use & may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this webpage, although the kelpie next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft. However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself & your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you & your pets. If you have read this webpage in error, please add some nutmeg & egg whites, whisk & place in a warm oven for 40 minutes.

Some government agency might someday require us to inform you of the following:
Notice: The most fundamental particles in the products that we sell / distribute / play with are held together by a "gluing" force about which little is known and whose adhesive power can therefore not be permanently guaranteed.

Important Notice to Users: The entire physical universe, or the SASS Inc, including the information that we provide, may one day collapse back into an infinitesimally small space. Should another universe or re-enactment subsequently re-emerge, the existence of the products that we sell in this universe cannot be guaranteed.

Public Notice As (maybe soon) Required By Law: Any use of the products that we sell / distribute, in any manner whatsoever, may increase the amount of disorder in our universe. Although no liability is implied herein, the consumer is warned that this process may ultimately help lead to the heat death of the universe.

This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. This page uses recycled electrons. List each check separately by bank number. No animals were mistreated or abused in posting this document to the network. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Don't pet the dog. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Sign waivers with your real name. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. Not our yak. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. Don't give Mogollon Munk bad whiskey. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. Not a Republic. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Some humor and satire included. May cause emotional damage to over-sensitive Liberals. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. Beware of the wife. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Do not stand on top rung. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. This knife is sharp. Slippery when wet. For office use only. The Chaplain is out. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Warranty void if serviced by non-authorized personnel. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Not made from real Girl Scouts. Post office will not deliver without postage. This can contains a head-enhancing device; do not shake vigorously. List was current at time of printing. Do not stand behind this weapon. Spandex weight limit applies. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Cthulhu not included. Free dung to all who apply. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. You're a daisy if you do. Surcharge for non-members. Not the Beatles. Don't try this in your living room; these are trained professionals. All firearms sould be considered loaded. The King is a fink. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Some portions re-enacted for the camera. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Cowboy garb required by all participants. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Due to the nature of the game of squash, this racket is not guaranteed. Ceci n'est pas une pipe. Under 18? Don't bother. If you read this far, you're nuts. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Repeated blows on head may damage brain. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Out to lunch. Beware of the Peril. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Not responsible for misuse. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. TANSTAAFL. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. The knives are sharp and the firearms are loaded. Register Mongols, not crossbows. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. May be hazardous to health if consumed in excessive quantities. Not responsible for typographical errors. Some shootists more equal than others. No flash photography. No returns unless defective. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. My brain hurts. Don't even think about parking here. There is no Rule Six. Shading within a garment may occur. Unload before cleaning. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Test regularly. Do not put the base of this ladder on frozen manure. Approved for veterans. Yes, it is a Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy. Booths for two or more. 5 rounds in cylinder only. No measureable fat content. Check here if tax deductible. Crunchy Frog not included. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Under penalty of law, this tag not to be removed except by consumer. Prerecorded for this time zone. Not responsible for stupid decisions. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. Etaoin Schrdlu. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free number before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. May cause severe bleeding if inserted in body cavity. Avoid operating heavy machinery while using product. Do not take with other products which may contain stimulants, depressants or antistimulodepressants. Avoid breathing. Do not ingest unless you are trying to kill yourself and then only after you have written the note. Avoid enjoying your life while taking this or any product. We do not assume you are a moron. Watch out for cars when crossing the street. Don't put that in your mouth, you don't know where it's been. Your face will freeze like that. You'll go blind, grow hair on your palms and get carpal-tunnel syndrome. Wash, rinse, repeat. The Surgeon General has determined that life is fatal. Have a nice day. Do you want fries with that? Don't shoot that gun, it's collectible. This side towards enemy. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. They're lying. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. Gentlemen will remove their hats. Link to these pages at your own risk. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Wear your earplugs. How's my coding? Call 1-800-UP-YOURS. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. This supersedes all previous notices unless indicated otherwise. Spammers will be mutilated. Keep off the grass.

In other words:

This document contains information which is nothing to do with you or anyone and even if it does we will deny it and you may be sued or terrorised by smart bastards with no morals and a strong sense of Latin so you are bloody fortunate to have got this far in this warning without having shiny suited geeks in tight pants banging on your door and dragging you off to court.

By entering this site, the buyer represents that they have read the above information!

You have been warned.

AND DON'T FORGET: This web page, and all original artwork and logos are copyrighted up the ying-yang, so if you steal them you might get a visit from my lawyer ....... or worse, you might have to face a buddy of mine from the Carolinas named Bubba who has a truly evil (and painful) idea of what is and what isn't funny. And he likes to laugh.

If you really MUST use some of my artwork, ask my permission first. You'll probably get it, as long as you give me credit and a back-link.

You can link to these pages without asking me. If I catch you stealing bandwidth by linking to a pic from my pages from our server, then you are likely to find the pic has been renamed, and a new, completely inappropriate pic of enormous size that will cause your page to take about two hours to load has been substituted. And my server does not censor content .......