My name is Hane. Sam Hane. I'm a detective here in Arkham, and my beat is the weird.

My office specializes in occult crimes and the paranormal. We have access to the Miskatonic University Library, the largest collection of esoterica in North America, and maintain a staff of experienced psychics and persons of specialized knowledge.

We are in constant contact with others in our field all over the world, list the famed Diana Tregarde as one of our consultants, and are newly affiliated with the famous Banzai Institute.

If you have a problem that you believe is rooted in the occult; if you cannot get help from "normal" channels; and ESPECIALLY if you run into the following key words and sigils as being associated with the problems you are having, CONTACT US!

Cthulhu - The Goat With A Thousand Young - Hastur - The Yellow Sign - "Iä! Iä!" - The King In Yellow - Li Feng - "Dr." I. Mabuse - Semprini - al Azif - O Abar - Gort - Necronomicon - Irene Adler - Fu Manchu - Muck Olla - R'lyeh - Nephren Ka - Zi Dingir Ana Kanpa, Zi Dingir Kia Kanpa - Ankh Sen Amen - Nitokris - Satanas - Azathoth - Yog-Sothoth - Yuggoth - Trapezohedron - Shoggoth - Alahazred - Bu - Dark Brotherhood - The Great Bird - The Elder Order of Darkness - Alaghbdth - Nightgaunt - "Cthulhu f'tagn!" - Illuminatti - Ahrimanic Saints - Black Masons - The Great God Samm - The Elder Brothers - Sarnath - The IRS - Achmed Bey - The Order of Dagon - "Rama Lama Ding Dong" - The Cthulhu Coalition - God Cip - Thulsa Doom - The Queen of the Universe World Tour - Hillary Clinton